CULTURE PART 2
THE MATRIARCH
GLENICE MILLS
23rd October 2013
In
my first article, ‘Defer is not Prefer’ we addressed the cultural issue whereby
women had bowed to the lies of the enemy by believing that to defer to another is
in fact to prefer. We looked at the difference between the two, noting that to
defer from a wrong foundation stems from a base of fear and is actually a way
of self-protection which does not prefer another, but rather oneself. As we
look at the matriarch one could say it is the other extreme of the pendulum to
the deferring woman; a cultural issue with a false spirit behind it.
To
recap, culture is the customs and traditions of a particular time or people. It
is the distinctive practices and beliefs of a society. Like any ways of living
and being, they must all bow to the Lordship of Jesus Christ.
A
matriarch is a female who is the leader or head of a family, group or tribe.
Matriarchy is a social system in which a female is the head of the family and
descent is through the female family line. We are more likely to equate this to
the animal world, but the reality is it operates with us.
When
you think about some cultures you immediately think of the ‘mama’, the one who
rules the family with an iron rod. Perhaps a good example of this is the
dowager played by Maggie Smith in the television series ‘Downton Abbey’.
I
need to make clear at this point that we as woman, no matter the age need to be
treated with respect and honour. The older woman has a God given position to
train up, encourage, love and support the younger woman. Jesus esteemed all
women from all walks of life, including cultures that were thought of as lesser
than, for example, the Samaritan woman.
There
is a God given role that a woman has in the family hierarchy, and she must be
honoured in this position. Scripture tells us this.
However,
like all things, there is a correct balance, and this article has been written
to address where the balance has gone to an extreme. This is not a criticism,
but is addressing a wrong spirit, where power and control has taken a false
rulership and authority position.
We
have all heard the ‘mother in law’ jokes where the mother in law is spoken of
as the woman who ‘rules the roost’. They are an object of mocking and derision.
Many have been on the receiving end of a mother in law or mother who has made
life extremely difficult. Some women have usurped their authority and crossed
boundaries, bringing an ungodly and wrong influence in relationships and
marriages. It could be described as the mother/mother in law being in the
marriage bed; such is their control.
Scripture
lays out clearly in Mark 10:6-9 (Amplified Version)
But from the
beginning of creation God made them male and female.
For this reason
a man shall leave his father and his mother
and be joined to his wife and cleave closely to her permanently,
And the two
shall become one flesh, so they are no longer two, but one flesh.
What therefore God
has united (joined together) let not man separate or divide.
I
have highlighted the word ‘mother’ here, because Scripture is very clear that a
son leaves both his father and his mother so he can cleave to his wife. The
word cleave is an old fashioned word that means to cling, keep close, to join
fast together, to glue, to cement. It is a deep uniting connection that is not
easily broken. When God has put a marriage together we dare not separate or
divide.
So
how does the matriarchal spirit operate?
There
are certain aspects of this spirit and its cultural influence that manifest in
very clear ways. Following are some ways that this spirit operates:
It
exerts ungodly influence: This can best be displayed when a couple or person’s
first thoughts before making a decision is ‘what will mum/mother in law/wife
think? How will she react when she hears what we plan to do?’ This is control
and abuse of authority.
My
life is not my own: Perhaps this could best be described as having this shadow
attached to your back, that can’t be shaken off. The person dominates every
aspect of your life to such a degree that you lose your identity, the truth of
who you are.
There
are no boundaries: What is yours is mine and our lives are so intricately
interwoven that I have a right to come onto your patch of ground without notice
or explanation. A practical example of this would be where a married couple is
in constant fear of when mum/mother in law will turn up unannounced. When she
does, all must bow to her demands and opinions. All focus and attention is
centred on her. It is like royalty has come to visit and all must bow and
scrape to their demands.
Everyone
is fearful of offending: Everyone around and about the matriarch walks on egg
shells, fearful of upsetting or offending in case they manifest, making the
lives of those around them a misery.
Emotions
are easily out of control: The matriarch rules by emotion – they vacillate
between anger to tears depending on what offends or upsets them. This occurs
particularly when they fear their power and authority is being challenged or is
being lost. It is emotional manipulation.
Using
words in such a way that people are beguiled and drawn in, resulting in
decisions that were never intended to be made: Often afterwards everyone goes
‘how did that happen?’ A resolution was found that benefited the matriarch, but
left everyone else feeling trapped, and sucked into a web of deceit.
So
how does it affect our behavior?
For
many men they have lost their sense of identity. Their masculinity is
challenged and they are often weak in their decision-making. This is often the
reason why many men become passive or aggressive. They are passive to the matriarch’s
demands, but they also feel frustrated resulting in anger because they know that
this is not how things should be.
For
many women there is an ungodly alliance between a mother and daughter. The
daughter will manipulate to get what she wants as modeled to her by her mother.
There is a perverted way in these days where the young daughter is a ‘friend’
to the mum. It is a wrong balance of power, and in this relationship there is a
false co-rulership that is not of God. When the daughter marries this comes
into the relationship bringing a hidden wedge into the marriage.
Culture
has allowed this way of being to take hold until it has become a stronghold
insidiously influencing people. It has become an acceptable way of living life.
A major problem arises when the Lord requires something of person that would
offend and upset the matriarch. Sadly we have seen and heard of many examples
where a person has a call on their life but they have not come into it because
of a mother/mother in law/ or wife’s control.
The
matriarchal spirit has false authority that has bound people, families, regions
or nations stopping them from being and doing all the Lord requires. At its
root is fear – fear of losing control, fear of change, fear of losing
influence. Power is exerted because it makes a person feel good, it builds
their esteem resulting in them feeling loved. This does not excuse it; however,
it does explain it.
If
we are to come into the higher ways of God, if we are to be one called to
influence for the good of the Kingdom of God, we must look at where and how
this matriarchal spirit has a stronghold over, through and in our lives.
Repentance is the key; recognizing the effects of this spirit, and choosing to
walk free of all bondage to it.
It
is a manifestation of the Jezebel spirit, and it must be exposed in this day
and time. Nothing and no one should have control and influence over our lives. God
is a God of free will, and anything that would rob or steal our free will is
not of Him!
As
women we need to be aware of how and if this spirit has had or is having any effect
on our lives. We do not want to be innocent victims of this spirit. We want to
be all that the Lord shed His blood on the cross at Calvary for us.
We
all have areas in our lives that need adjusting, and only by the power of the
Holy Spirit can this happen. He is the one who convicts. We are called to be
nation changers, and all it takes is one to repent, to turn and change, to
bring about a shift in the principalities and powers, the wickedness in high
places.
It
is up to us to be willing to look at this matriarchal spirit and the wrong
strong hold and influence it is had over our lives.
