Culture Part 2 - Glenice Mills

CULTURE PART 2

 

THE MATRIARCH

GLENICE MILLS
23^rd October 2013

 

In my first article, ‘Defer is not Prefer’ we addressed the cultural issue whereby women had bowed to the lies of the enemy by believing that to defer to another is in fact to prefer. We looked at the difference between the two, noting that to defer from a wrong foundation stems from a base of fear and is actually a way of self-protection which does not prefer another, but rather oneself. As we look at the matriarch one could say it is the other extreme of the pendulum to the deferring woman; a cultural issue with a false spirit behind it.

 

To recap, culture is the customs and traditions of a particular time or people. It is the distinctive practices and beliefs of a society. Like any ways of living and being, they must all bow to the Lordship of Jesus Christ.

 

A matriarch is a female who is the leader or head of a family, group or tribe. Matriarchy is a social system in which a female is the head of the family and descent is through the female family line. We are more likely to equate this to the animal world, but the reality is it operates with us.

 

When you think about some cultures you immediately think of the ‘mama’, the one who rules the family with an iron rod. Perhaps a good example of this is the dowager played by Maggie Smith in the television series ‘Downton Abbey’.

 

I need to make clear at this point that we as woman, no matter the age need to be treated with respect and honour. The older woman has a God given position to train up, encourage, love and support the younger woman. Jesus esteemed all women from all walks of life, including cultures that were thought of as lesser than, for example, the Samaritan woman.

 

There is a God given role that a woman has in the family hierarchy, and she must be honoured in this position. Scripture tells us this.

 

However, like all things, there is a correct balance, and this article has been written to address where the balance has gone to an extreme. This is not a criticism, but is addressing a wrong spirit, where power and control has taken a false rulership and authority position.

 

We have all heard the ‘mother in law’ jokes where the mother in law is spoken of as the woman who ‘rules the roost’. They are an object of mocking and derision. Many have been on the receiving end of a mother in law or mother who has made life extremely difficult. Some women have usurped their authority and crossed boundaries, bringing an ungodly and wrong influence in relationships and marriages. It could be described as the mother/mother in law being in the marriage bed; such is their control.

 

Scripture lays out clearly in Mark 10:6-9 (Amplified Version)

But from the beginning of creation God made them male and female.

For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife and cleave closely to her permanently,

And the two shall become one flesh, so they are no longer two, but one flesh.

What therefore God has united (joined together) let not man separate or divide.

 

I have highlighted the word ‘mother’ here, because Scripture is very clear that a son leaves both his father and his mother so he can cleave to his wife. The word cleave is an old fashioned word that means to cling, keep close, to join fast together, to glue, to cement. It is a deep uniting connection that is not easily broken. When God has put a marriage together we dare not separate or divide.

 

So how does the matriarchal spirit operate?

 

There are certain aspects of this spirit and its cultural influence that manifest in very clear ways. Following are some ways that this spirit operates:

 

It exerts ungodly influence: This can best be displayed when a couple or person’s first thoughts before making a decision is ‘what will mum/mother in law/wife think? How will she react when she hears what we plan to do?’ This is control and abuse of authority.

 

My life is not my own: Perhaps this could best be described as having this shadow attached to your back, that can’t be shaken off. The person dominates every aspect of your life to such a degree that you lose your identity, the truth of who you are.

 

There are no boundaries: What is yours is mine and our lives are so intricately interwoven that I have a right to come onto your patch of ground without notice or explanation. A practical example of this would be where a married couple is in constant fear of when mum/mother in law will turn up unannounced. When she does, all must bow to her demands and opinions. All focus and attention is centred on her. It is like royalty has come to visit and all must bow and scrape to their demands.

 

Everyone is fearful of offending: Everyone around and about the matriarch walks on egg shells, fearful of upsetting or offending in case they manifest, making the lives of those around them a misery.

 

Emotions are easily out of control: The matriarch rules by emotion – they vacillate between anger to tears depending on what offends or upsets them. This occurs particularly when they fear their power and authority is being challenged or is being lost. It is emotional manipulation.

 

Using words in such a way that people are beguiled and drawn in, resulting in decisions that were never intended to be made: Often afterwards everyone goes ‘how did that happen?’ A resolution was found that benefited the matriarch, but left everyone else feeling trapped, and sucked into a web of deceit.

 

So how does it affect our behavior?

 

For many men they have lost their sense of identity. Their masculinity is challenged and they are often weak in their decision-making. This is often the reason why many men become passive or aggressive. They are passive to the matriarch’s demands, but they also feel frustrated resulting in anger because they know that this is not how things should be.

 

For many women there is an ungodly alliance between a mother and daughter. The daughter will manipulate to get what she wants as modeled to her by her mother. There is a perverted way in these days where the young daughter is a ‘friend’ to the mum. It is a wrong balance of power, and in this relationship there is a false co-rulership that is not of God. When the daughter marries this comes into the relationship bringing a hidden wedge into the marriage.

 

Culture has allowed this way of being to take hold until it has become a stronghold insidiously influencing people. It has become an acceptable way of living life. A major problem arises when the Lord requires something of person that would offend and upset the matriarch. Sadly we have seen and heard of many examples where a person has a call on their life but they have not come into it because of a mother/mother in law/ or wife’s control.

 

The matriarchal spirit has false authority that has bound people, families, regions or nations stopping them from being and doing all the Lord requires. At its root is fear – fear of losing control, fear of change, fear of losing influence. Power is exerted because it makes a person feel good, it builds their esteem resulting in them feeling loved. This does not excuse it; however, it does explain it.

 

If we are to come into the higher ways of God, if we are to be one called to influence for the good of the Kingdom of God, we must look at where and how this matriarchal spirit has a stronghold over, through and in our lives. Repentance is the key; recognizing the effects of this spirit, and choosing to walk free of all bondage to it.

 

It is a manifestation of the Jezebel spirit, and it must be exposed in this day and time. Nothing and no one should have control and influence over our lives. God is a God of free will, and anything that would rob or steal our free will is not of Him!

 

As women we need to be aware of how and if this spirit has had or is having any effect on our lives. We do not want to be innocent victims of this spirit. We want to be all that the Lord shed His blood on the cross at Calvary for us.

 

We all have areas in our lives that need adjusting, and only by the power of the Holy Spirit can this happen. He is the one who convicts. We are called to be nation changers, and all it takes is one to repent, to turn and change, to bring about a shift in the principalities and powers, the wickedness in high places.

 

It is up to us to be willing to look at this matriarchal spirit and the wrong strong hold and influence it is had over our lives.