Culture's Snare - Glenice Mills

CULTURE’S SNARE

 DEFER IS NOT PREFER

 

GLENICE MILLS
 FOR WAA.
1ST SEPTEMBER 2013

Culture is an insidious, hidden part of our society that affects our behavior, attitudes and aspects of our day-to-day life. Culture has particularly impacted and affected women across all socio-economic groups, from all tribes and all nations. It has been a tactic of the enemy to bind the Lord’s women, to hold them back, because the enemy knows once women find their voice, and come into their true call and destiny, they are a ‘force to be reckoned with’.

The enemy is shaking right now as he knows his days are numbered, for the voice of God’s women will not be shut, they will not be silenced because there is a roar coming out. That roar will become louder as confident, warrior princesses arise; one’s who know who they are in God, one’s who overcome and one’s who are fearless! This is a declaration, a declaration of war!!!

For us to come into all we are called to be we must first look at where culture is hindering and preventing us from being all we are meant to be in Christ. Culture’s snares will vary according to the nations we are from, and live in, but there are many common denominators for all nations.

As the coordinator for Women’s Apostolic Alliance here in Australia it is interesting to consider why the Lord is using a New Zealander in Australia, a South African coordinating New Zealand and an Australian coordinating the UK. This is not some accident but is the Lord’s divine plan.

Why is this so?

The truth is that I had to come out from under and away from my culture, the New Zealand culture, to be the full expression of who the Lord says I must be. This is not saying we all have to leave the land of our birth; however, there is a call for some to come to a different nation to fulfill God’s purposes. One of the main reasons for this is that culture has false power and authority over people’s lives. Therefore, some must come out from under certain strongholds of their home nation so they can be most effective where they are called to be.

To begin with, I did not know and understand why I had to leave New Zealand, but what I know now is that I had to leave because the Lord wanted to show me what some of the ruling principalities are over New Zealand; the result of which is my second book ‘Smashing the Lie, - Self-effacement’.

I am writing this as the Lord is requiring me to write a series for the WAA website addressing the various issues related to culture.

For us to fully understand culture we need to know what exactly it is and only then can we begin to look at the first issue in this series, one that is inherent in all women in varying degrees - that is - the issue of deferring.

The dictionary defines culture as ‘the distinctive practices and beliefs of a society; culture is the customs and civilization of a particular time or people.’

Throughout time we of different tribes and nations have embraced different traditions, practices and ways of living that are so ingrained into the fabric of the society that we do not recognize that these ways may in fact be a contradiction to God’s ways.

When we look at culture, idolatry is often at its root. As we embark on this series I want to address an issue that is interwoven in the very fabric of our society that greatly impacts women.

PART ONE: DEFER IS NOT PREFER:

There is something inherent in the make up of a woman; that aspect the Lord has put on the inside of her that will always consider others, often at the cost of self. This is a God given attribute designed for us as mothers. We see a classic example of the protective, nurturing aspect of a woman in 1 Kings 3:16-28. When Solomon was required to decide who the mother of the dead child was, the natural mother deferred custody of her baby to the second woman, as a way of protecting her child. This is a priceless quality that a mother will lay down her life for her child.

To defer from a healthy foundation, is actually to prefer another.

To prefer means to like better, to put another forward in order to appoint or promote. Prefer is a higher way, it comes from a foundation of equality. It is having an equal voice resulting in mutual decision-making. There is no over under, higher, lower or abuse of power but rather mutual respect. It is about honoring one another and valuing the opinions of another. 

Unfortunately, the waters get muddied when this crosses over to a false way – to defer to another from a wrong foundation. It may still be to protect but its base is fear and it is actually self-protection and is not to prefer another, but rather to prefer oneself.

Unfortunately many women have been under the mindset that to defer to another is always a good thing. It is a lie from the pit of hell. It brings bondage and a false way of living that enslaves.

Have you ever been in a situation where there is a conversation “No you go first, no you go first”? Everybody is so busy ‘preferring’ the other that nothing gets done. It appears as good manners. It is actually indecisive with no one prepared to make the first move and come to a final conclusion on a matter. It is lack of leadership and is rooted in a fear of offending. It is a cultural issue and appears as humility. In fact it is false humility.

What happens when we defer from a fear-based foundation, we actually put on a false persona because we in fact ingratiate ourselves, and become false. We end up bowing to another and at its worst we become all things to all people in order to appease. The end result is we spend our lives bowing and scraping to another in order to win acceptance.

The truth is the acceptance never comes, but dishonor and disdain occurs until we spiral downward and we lose our identity. We have given our free will choice to another. We become fearful of the one who controls and live our lives constantly on edge.

Can I encourage you as you read this to consider where this has and is operating in your life?

Culture has said this is the right way to live and sadly it has put women in bondage. This occurs in marriage, church, relationships and what has been taught and modeled to us from our mothers, back through the generations. It places us in an over under way of living. It is putting another over us giving control, taking our voice so we do not have an opinion. It shuts our mouths and robs us of free will choice.

Sadly we see women who are ruled by their husbands and increasingly occurring being ruled by their children also. We see elder abuse increasing, but if we look back, its roots are there because the voice was shut down decades earlier. It is disrespect and dishonor toward another and many women have accepted this as ‘their lot in life’. It is false martyrdom and is not a way of God.

So how is it outworked in our behavior?

We think we are ‘lesser than’ that we are of no worth and therefore should just give in to keep the peace. We live our lives trying to be the peacekeepers and lose who we truly are by receiving second best in our lives.

Is this the life the Lord who shed His blood on the cross at Calvary would want for you?

Do you think this is walking in victory?

I need to put in here that I am not addressing the issue of submission. You will only hear the word ‘submission’ spoken of in Christian circles. It is not a word widely used by the world. Submission is full surrender to another and in no way is what the Lord ever intended for His women. I am not addressing this issue, as my focus is more from the aspect of culture not religious teaching.

So what is to prefer?

It is being and feeling secure enough to voice an opinion, to be who you truly are without flattery, false modesty and having to prove yourself. You are free to be you, the true and full expression of you, the one created in the image of God.

As we have looked at the difference between defer and prefer and how it relates to culture can I encourage you to seek the Lord asking Him to show you where you have bowed to the lies of the enemy by deferring from a false foundation to another rather than preferring. You will need to look at the fears, insecurities and behaviours and repent of them as the Lord leads.

Remember the Lord loves you and wants you to come into ALL the plans and purposed for your life.

He has not given you a spirit of fear but of love, power and sound mind.

It is time to walk in the victory of the Lord Jesus Christ. Know He is for you and no weapon of the enemy shall stand against you.

Be encouraged!