Cultures Snare Part 3: Conditioned To Be Critical

Why are we women our own worst enemies? We are quick to speak ill of ourselves – I’m too big, too fat, too skinny, my hair’s not right, I’ve got more wrinkles – just to name a few. We are quick to criticise ourselves and speak foolish statements that unfortunately we model to our daughters, nieces and those who listen to us. As we get older the very thing we dread – we sound and look like our mothers – comes upon us! Whether we like it or not we have been conditioned to act this way. In the bigger picture, culture and societies expectations have influenced us. It is subtle and insidiously creeps in over time. As we become numb and succumb to this way of being, we accept this way until it is a part of the fabric of our being. Is it right? Absolutely not! Whether we like it or not the enemy has done a number on us by beguiling us with these lies, which we then believe, until it is intricately woven into the fabric of our being. The tragedy is, these ways are then modelled to the next generation of women putting a yoke on them too. If this isn’t bad enough, we do it to one another as well.

All five-fold ministers will say their biggest opposition comes from other women. So why are we so quick to pull one another down, rather than build each other up? Why do we judge a fellow sister in Christ with critical eyes? We judge external appearances, - what she looks like, what she’s wearing, her weight or lack of, her ageing process to name a few.

The reality is culture has influenced us and much of that has come through the media. We are constantly barraged with what is called ‘the ideal woman’ – what she should look like, how her hair should look and what the ideal figure is – to name a few. We look up to these ‘ideal women’ as some demi-god that we should aspire to be like. The tragedy is these outside pressures have hoodwinked us all to some degree. It is like an unwritten rule that we must all somehow attain.
We won’t be able to and nor should we feel that we should.

We all know we shouldn’t be like this and it is a constant battle to fight against these negative thoughts and foolish spoken words. However, we must look at the issue of how critical we are of ourselves and of others. There is a critical spirit that has pushed us to unfairly judge another. We must be aware of. It is nasty, vengeful, and at its deepest root is hatred. Jealousy is its sister and together they operate to make us, as women, pull one another down. We must be aware of how it operates in our lives and understand the cultural impact it has had. It is modeled from our past by our mothers, flowing down affecting the lives of the younger women we influence and input into.

1 Corinthians 13:4 "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it his not arrogant"

Philippians 2:3 "Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves."

James 3:14-15 "But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth.  This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic."

It is a sin issue. Being critical influences all of us.  It is also a cultural issue.
Different cultures have various extremes of this critical spirit depending on what their society expects of them. It is actually immature and shows a shallowness of character.

We all know of the ‘tall poppy syndrome’. Another example is the ‘crab in a bucket’. If you get a group of crabs in a bucket as soon as one starts to try and climb out the other crabs will pull it down.
We women are no different, though a lot cleverer at it. When we see someone look like they are getting ahead, we try and pull them back and keep them the same. We hide the resentment in our hearts until an opportune time when it will manifest and hurt and defile.

There is the higher way – to quickly acknowledge, repent of and release all unforgiveness quickly so these issues do not fester. We must be on guard during this hour when the enemy is particularly vicious so we don’t become a pawn in his game to betray by pulling one another down, instead of building up.
This is what it is to be a mature, woman of God. Maturity is not about age but rather how we conduct ourselves having the character to be true examples of God’s woman in this hour.

Be on guard against being critical – it is not becoming of a woman of God.
Walk the higher way – of truth, honesty and intimacy with the Lord.

Glenice Mills
4th May 2014